One of those days...

You know there are days when you think, "Oh Lord, what am I doing!?!" And you may try to seek assistance and then you realize no one knows what the !#$% they’re doing, and you realize that you know more than they do! Or at least you're more capable of thinking it through than they are or than they are willing to do, so then you are somehow driven to know or do what no one else is or does and you are ready to boldly go where no man has gone before because you have been pathetically empowered by all the ignorance and apathy that surrounds you so even though you may still be in the dark you at least realize there is light where everyone else sees dark, and you allow yourself to swim through the dark mire into a kind of unrealized victory.

This is one of those days.

Hillary Deal

Humbug

The Blind Girl

There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She said that if she could only see the world, she would marry her boyfriend. One day, someone donated a pair of corneas to her and her sight was restored. On the day her bandages were removed, her boyfriend asked her, "Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?" The girl was shocked to find that her boyfriend was blind too, and she refused to marry him. Her boyfriend walked away in tears, and later wrote a letter to her saying, "Just take care of my eyes, my dearest one." This is how the human brain works when our circumstances change. Only a few remember what life was like before, and who's always been there even in the most painful situations.

Life is a Gift

Today before you think of saying an unkind word - Think of someone who can't speak. Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat. Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out for a companion. Today before you complain about life - Think of someone who died too early. Before you complain about your children - Think of someone who desires children but they're barren. Before you argue about your dirty house - Think of the people who are living in the streets. Before whining about the distance you drive - Think of someone who walks the same distance. And when you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had a job. But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another - Remember that not one of us is without sin and we all answer to one maker. And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on your face and be thankful that you're alive and still around. Life is a gift: Live it, Enjoy it, Celebrate it and Fulfill it.

Sometimes It DOES Take a Rocket Scientist

Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch standard 4 pound
dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the
space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to
simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test
the strength of the windshields. British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers. When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two, and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow. The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the US scientists for suggestions.

NASA responded with a one-line memo -- "Defrost the chicken."

The Honest Boss

Hallmark Cards offers us an interview with an honest boss. Enjoy.

Fun Ways to Stick it to the Man

Tips for handling telemarketers
Three Little Words That Work !!
(1)The three little words are:"Hold On, Please..."
Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt. Then when you eventually hear the phone company's "beep-beep-beep" tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task. These three little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting.
(2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end? This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone. This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a "real" sales person to call back and get someone at home. What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly as possible. This confuses the machine that dialed the call and it kicks your number out of their system. Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their system any longer !!!
(3) Junk Mail Help:
When you get "ads" enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return these "ads" with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their own junk mail away. When you get those "pre-approved" letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the return envelope. Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, right? It costs them more than the regular 39 cents postage "IF" and when they receive them back. It costs them nothing if you throw them away! The postage was around 50 cents before the last increase and it is according to the weight. In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little, postage-paid return envelopes. Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express. Send a pizza coupon to Citibank. If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them their blank application back! If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything you send them. You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just to keep them guessing! It still costs them 39 cents. The banks and credit card companies are currently getting a lot of their own junk back in the mail, but folks, we need to OVERWHELM them. Let's let them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and best of all they're paying for it...Twice! Let's help keep our postal service busy since they are saying that e-mail is cutting into their business profits, and that's why they need to increase postage costs again. You get the idea! If enough people follow these tips, it will work.

What America Suffers From

Over-consumption and ignorance. I'm sure she's a nice lady, and she must have some smarts or else she wouldn't have made it onto the show, but the picture really sums up a lot of Americans. This whole 'more is better' mentality has to be challenged constantly. At some point, enough is enough. Ask yourself this, when's the last time you read a book?

Weather Forecasting Stone

The great thing about this is that it works in any kind of weather!